Review of Hey Porsche by Nelly
‘Hey Porsche’ is either the work of a car loving fool or a teenage boy trying to work as many terrible innuendos in to one song as humanly possible. Either way this song manages to be less enjoyable than reading how to change a cam belt via the means of an old Haynes Manual for a Mk2 Ford Capri.
Nelly has in fits and spurts made some average music, but he manages to destroy even the mediocre reputation by releasing utter crap like this.
First off, the song is shocking. The kind of country laden, tinny beats with repetitive singing of an distinctly poor chorus is an insult to my eardrums. In normal Nelly style he can’t quite bring himself to write lyrics to the entire track so to fill in for his poor writing skills he simple gives it a few “naa naa naa naa’s”. Well that is exactly how I feel Nelly. ‘Hey Porsche’ naa, naa, naa, naa, NAA!!!
A few moments ago I wrote a review on Pitbull absolute steaming brown dog deposits and now this. For all the great music the United States produce – think Jay Z, Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin, Michael Jackson and countless others. The likes of Pitbull and Nelly undo it all. They are like a virus trying to destroy the underbelly of US music.
I would rather endure a case of dissentry than listen to either this Nelly abonimation or the Pitbull rubbish. How do we declare war on America and their poor music? Maybe we should send them Jedward!